Snowicane "Absurd" Hits
The so-called meteorologists have coined a new term to describe what used to be referred to as a "weather event". The "snowicane" has been added not into the Guiness Book of World Records for the most idiotic portmanteau ever, but the actual mainstream media's questionably creative vernacular. Is it any wonder that we are falling behind in math, science, and other core skills when we celebrate this type of idiocy?
I can see the meeting room now. Gary spills his coffee down the front of his tie again for the eighth time today. Jane walks in from her commute and exclaims, "it's really windy outside, kinda like a hurricane!" Bob adds, "yeah, and the snow is getting awful!" Suddenly Gary's eyes jump to the ceiling as he slowly raises his hand pointing towards the imaginary idea cloud that follows him around (usually telling him to get another cup of coffee) and yells, "it's like a 'snowicane'!"
At that very moment, Brent (think Ron Burgundy with a less cool mustache) walks by and catches this pearl of absurdity, this jewel in the crown of the asinine, this nugget of pure idiocy. He immediately dashes to the on-air graphics room and says, "In huge bold letters I need S-N-O-W-I-C-A-N-E to lead us in to the 5 o'clock broadcast. Call the sound guy and have him pull up some tension building piece we use to scare people with so they run to the supermarkets and freak out when there's only 2 loafs of bread left." The staff of course doesn't know whether to laugh or to open Photoshop.
Yes, I imagine that's how it went.
As it is the first snowicane, well, EVER, its name must start with "A". I chose Absurd. I suppose however that I should at least be satisfied that they predicted something for once! Enjoy the snow (icane) everyone!