| You are pretty. | Nov 28, 2002 |
| Your lover will never wish to leave. | Nov 28, 2002 |
| Drop the attitude... People find you much too smug. | Nov 29, 2002 |
| Wish You A Good Health! | Nov 29, 2002 |
| You will come across great fortune. | Dec 13, 2002 |
| You smoke too much pot. | Dec 21, 2002 |
| psssp...you have something in your teeth | Dec 22, 2002 |
| HPV = Love bumps | Dec 29, 2002 |
| Don't drink and drive | Dec 29, 2002 |
| Don't Do Drugs | Dec 29, 2002 |
| You have had a good start. Work harder! | Dec 30, 2002 |
| You will have a better ass than Britney Spears. | Jan 07, 2003 |
| Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth. | Feb 14, 2003 |
| So it's your birthday. So what. | Apr 24, 2003 |
| Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it. | May 05, 2003 |
| You will meet someone amazing | Jun 27, 2003 |
| If you are hungry, have another fortune cookie. | Jun 27, 2003 |
| Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery. | Sep 04, 2003 |
| Your will grow back soon! | Sep 08, 2003 |
| You want another fortune cookie. | Nov 15, 2003 |
| You have just read a fortune. | Nov 19, 2003 |
| It is better to remain quiet and appear stupid than to speak and remove all doubt. | Dec 17, 2003 |
| radio is good | Feb 26, 2004 |
| Religion is a short cut to thinking | Mar 11, 2004 |
| May you grow rich (in bed). | Apr 23, 2004 |
| Bigger things are yet to come | Jun 13, 2004 |
| hot naked girls | Aug 06, 2004 |
| That wasnt chicken | Aug 09, 2004 |
| You will watch the Olympics | Aug 23, 2004 |
| ....meow? | Oct 05, 2004 |
| You RIAR | Oct 19, 2004 |
| all your bases are belong to us! | Dec 19, 2004 |
| Anything that is hard isnt worth doing | Mar 14, 2005 |
| Yes, you did leave the iron on | Mar 14, 2005 |
| Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery. | Jul 08, 2005 |
| u never know wat u get | Oct 03, 2005 |
| Annunziata | Nov 08, 2007 |
| You arent very good | Jun 23, 2008 |